This semester I have the pleasure of working in the primary grades (Kindergarten-2nd) and although I have worked with second grade before my experience in Kindergarten and first grade is minimal. Needless to say I never imagined I would be cracking up so frequently over the things these kids say. I certainly wouldn't want to forget some of these one liners so may as well start writing them down. Who knows, maybe I'll have a book one day.
"Miss Torres, your hair looks different today. But that's alright, I still love you."
First grader commenting on my hair which by the way was in the same ponytail that I wear it in 2-3 times a week.
"You look just like someone I know. She owns my cousin."
This little kindergarten students was adamant that someone actually owned his cousin. I questioned him over and over thinking that maybe this girl babysat his cousin but to no avail. I resolved the entire story by assuring him that I owned no one, so I wasn't the person he was thinking of.
"When you go to the bathroom you have to make sure you point your wiener at the toilet so your pee doesn't get all over the place."
In this first grader's defense I basically set myself up for this one. At the beginning of the year we had quite a few toileting issues so I actually taught a mini-lesson on what to do when you go to the bathroom (I can't make these things up). After going through all of the necessary steps I asked the group what some important rules were in the bathroom and well, this is what I got. And the best part? I couldn't even get mad, I was laughing so hard :)
"I have to draw my hairy bottom. My mom says I got it from my dad, but I don't remember when he gave it to me!"
This one absolutely killed me. If the parents of my students knew just how much I knew about them, they would be mortified! This first grader was drawing a picture of himself (at the beach if I remember correctly) and narrated this key detail to me. I love when things like this go right over their heads but crack us adults right up.
Kids do say the darndest things!!